"Things to come..." Part III

"Morning Mr Chairman. You wanted to see me? I must say you're looking a bit fed up. After Saturday I'd have thought you'd be a bit happier?"

"Well you thought wrong, Mr Secretary. Granted, it was a good result, but let's be honest, the lads weren't up against much were they? There's a lot tougher to come, and we've not shaped up away from home recently have we?"

"I'll agree there, but to be frank, I'm pleased that we've done reasonably well at this stage of the season. So what else is worrying you at the moment?"

"I've had this terrible feeling recently, that things are changing for ever, and not for the better either. It started with this 125^th Anniversary business...."

"But we all agreed that it was a good move to remind everyone that we were well established. You know, give the club a feeling of stability, have you had a change of heart?"

"No, but look what's happened recently. I was talking to Uncle Bob the other day. Do you know they've had to close the Rising Sun in the Grove?

Now, I'm not a Grover like him, but he was telling me that it's been there more than two hundred years. He can remember getting the tram into Stockport from there with his Mother, when he was a nipper, just after the War . They even had a dog track behind it."

"With respect, Mr Chairman, I don't see that Uncle Bob's Rambles do much to help us find a centre forward we can borrow for the rest of the season, or am I missing the point?"

"I might have agreed with you a couple of weeks ago, but things are getting out of hand. I went round to my Gentlemens' Club in Heaton Chapel at the weekend. It was either that or going to some Townswomens Guild do, with my wife. I had the shock of my life. The place was a hundred years old, and they've closed it down. That's what's getting to me, Mr Secretary. You can't rely on anything anymore.......look at Woolworths! Mind you, I knew the end was in sight back in 1994......"

"How come, Chairman?"

"That was the year they were forced to let the ladies become members. After that it was all downhill. So I was already pretty fed up by the time I got here this morning. And now, there's this! Here, cop hold of this.."

"That badge looks familiar, what do the Police want now? Let's have a look. Oh dear, I see it's from your favourite Ground Commander, Chief Superintendent Felicity Simpkins, so it's bound to be trouble. So what's 'Ferocious Flic' want?"

"You'd best not try to read it, Mr Secretary, you haven't had as much practice with PC speak as I have."

"I didn't know they had their own language as well, Chairman, although I do find it difficult to understand her London accent most of the time."

" No, 'PC' doesn't mean 'Police Constable', it means 'politically correct'. She's quoting us some Councillor in Southampton. Now where is it? Yes, here we are, 'There is evidence that when a well supported football team has a prolonged downturn that can also be felt through relationship problems...' So she reckons that there's a need to investigate any case of domestic rows, to see if the bloke involved is a Hatter! She says that she will regard this as an 'aggravating factor.' She's got that rotweiller of a sergeant of hers going through all the recent crime statistics to see if she can pin anything on us....."

"I tell you what, Chairman, I'm glad to see she thinks we're 'well supported'! And as for a 'prolonged downturn,' it's a good thing she wasn't here a few years ago.."

"So now do you see why I'm a bit down in the dumps? We can't even have a double to drown our sorrows since she took our licence away..."

"I see what you mean, now, Chairman. Hang on, have you seen this bit on the second page? She says that in view of our recent cash problems, she's going to refer us to the 'Financial Services Ombudsperson'"

"Serves you right for being so optimistic, Mr Secretary. I've told you before, 'It's a sign of things to come'